Within one week at work, three different people had called me Alice. We realized why when we looked at my e-mail address: apulice@irvinecompany.com. Okay I didn’t realize why but Heather did: apulice. Fellow employees proceeded to call me Alice for the rest of the week.At the Starbucks by my house, Bitter Barista Lady always asks for my name, regardless that I am there every single morning and have told her that if I could I would hook an IV of coffee to my vein. Every single damn time:
Bitter Barista Lady: “Name?”
Me: “Adele.”
Bitter Barista Lady: “What?”
Me: “A-dell.”
Bitter Barista Lady: (dirty look)
Me: (in head: WTF?!?)
Case in point: I tried something new next morning:
Bitter Barista Lady: “Name?”
Me: “Alice.”
Bitter Barista Lady: “Thank you”
Me: (in head: curse you Bitter Barista Lady)
After this initial test, I have decided to stick with Alice for Starbucks orders, food orders, fake name in bars and clubs, credit card applications at sporting events so I can get the hat/fold-up chair/umbrella and fake name for when the elderly want to chat.
I know what you’re thinking. “Alice reminds me of the housekeeper on The Brady Bunch!” Please enjoy these other famous Alice alternatives.
Bitter Barista Lady: “Name?”
Me: “Adele.”
Bitter Barista Lady: “What?”
Me: “A-dell.”
Bitter Barista Lady: (dirty look)
Me: (in head: WTF?!?)
Case in point: I tried something new next morning:
Bitter Barista Lady: “Name?”
Me: “Alice.”
Bitter Barista Lady: “Thank you”
Me: (in head: curse you Bitter Barista Lady)
After this initial test, I have decided to stick with Alice for Starbucks orders, food orders, fake name in bars and clubs, credit card applications at sporting events so I can get the hat/fold-up chair/umbrella and fake name for when the elderly want to chat.
I know what you’re thinking. “Alice reminds me of the housekeeper on The Brady Bunch!” Please enjoy these other famous Alice alternatives.
emo alice
classic alice
immortal alice
rocker alice
cast of alice 
zombie alice
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